Death By Pop Rocks :: A (radio) showgirl… My take on the world.

The things that go down in Ramsey Park….

By Lynne Ryan | May 18, 2012 | WTF | No comments

Some plans go off effortlessly, without a flaw. Most of the time great thought and consideration have helped these ideas to reach their desired conclusion. This wasn’t one of those plans. A confused 50 year old Alan Petrussion apparently likes anonymous sex… so much so that he tied himself to a tree. Blindfolded. Naked and spread eagle.. and waited. So.. So many questions. First, how the fuck do you tie yourself to (reportedly) two trees, spread eagle and blindfolded. Secondly, who is out and about in a park trolling for such an encounter.. and third, Christ on a wiener dog crutch.. what the Hell!?

Like Whoa!!!!

By Lynne Ryan | May 17, 2012 | Pop Culture, WTF | No comments

Joey Lawrence of ”Blossom” fame (only) is going to be a male stripper. Seriously. Lawrence just signed a contract to headline the all male review, Chippendales, in Vegas this July. How is this happening? Did the Lifetime Original Movie Network stop offering him roles in their movies tailor made just for him!? Is there no more “Dancing with the Stars” shows that don’t involve him taking off his clothes?? Sweet lord, if the Chippendales audience already wasn’t made up of mid 40′s trapped in 80′s ladies.. it sure is gonna be now! Like Whoa!! ( sorry, I had to)

What happens when your last dance is a lap dance?

By Lynne Ryan | May 17, 2012 | WTF | No comments

Death is never funny, but it sure as hell can be ironic. The passing of 67 year old Robert Gene White is the epitome of an ironic death. Mr. White was the recipient of Numerous?? lap dances at the Red Parrot strip club last Friday night. Apparently at the end of the night when the ladies went to collect, he was dead.. of a heart attack. This situation bears many unanswered questions, but am I the only person wondering if ladies were grinding on top of him after he was already.. umm.. gone? Do men just lay there like a .. pardon the expression “dead fish” while some topless lady is wriggling around on top of them? This reminds me of the “Weekend at Bernie’s” story, that happened here in Denver last year. Some poor fellow died and instead of calling the cops, his friends dressed him up and took him to a popular “gentleman’s club”, Shotgun Willies and used the dead guys credit card to buy all their drinks.

WAIT…,if Mr. White had a credit card on him.. I mean, well.. he did receive the dances, it’s only right to expect payment.. yes?

It’s the Death By Pop Rocks Book Club!

By Lynne Ryan | April 28, 2012 | WTF | No comments

The other day the Internets was down for almost an entire day.. The Great Highlands outage of 2012, which affected just DBPR headquarters, “Weeville Inc.” and only one other place that I know of.. but still .. it was horrific! I turned to my old friend, The Book to appease my insane boredom ( no need to do laundry or yard work.!) This rekindled love of books has prompted me to start a DBPR Book club. I will also be looking for a contributing book reader, preferably someone much smarter than myself. For now though, I’d like to highlight this quality piece of literature from the fine folks at Keystone publishing. ”Bear Meets Girl” ( and this time the bed is just right) YES. That’s the title of this delightful book! Here’s a synopsis worthy of its 4 STAR!! review on Amazon!

He’s big, burly, and way smarter than your average shapeshifting bear. He’s also about to get trapped by his own game…Lou Crushek is a reasonable, mellow, easygoing kind of guy. But once someone starts killing the scumbags he works so hard to bust, that really gets under his fur. Especially when that someone is a curvy she-tiger with a skill set that’s turning Crush’s lone-bear world upside down – and bringing his passion out of hibernation…As a member of an elite feline protection unit, Marcella Malone has no problem body-dropping anyone who hunts her kind. But Crush is proving one major pain in her gorgeous tail. The only reason she’s joined forces with him is to track down the wealthy human who’s got her entire species in his ruthless sights. It sure isn’t because Crush’s stubborn and contrary attitude is rubbing Cella in all the right ways…

Seriously, He’s way smarter than your average shapeshifting bear.. That’s all I really need to know.

Do you want to know how Flava Flav tastes?? ( yeahhhhhh boy!!!!, may NOT be the answer)

By Chuck Woodford | April 27, 2012 | Pop Culture, WTF | No comments

We here at DBPR received a press release last week that we felt was too remarkable just to comment on from afar so we dug into our vast coffers of jewel-encrusted crowns and chalices to fund a trip to the hottest new eatery in Sin City. America’s official Court Jester, Flavor Flav, has decided to branch out as an entrepreneur and, rather than explore the aromatic fragrance market or the vast Timepiece Necklace market, has chosen the Take Out Fried Chicken and Red Velvet Waffle crowd as his next target. And let me tell you, he couldn’t have picked a more scenic location. Three miles off the Strip, his House of Flavor is located in a strip mall right at the intersection of Squalor Parkway and Abandoned Storefront Avenue. The House doesn’t even face the street, it’s tucked back about 200 feet in a building that already has a Jamaican Jerk restaurant literally six feet away next door. Needless to say, it’s an absolute must stop the next time you are in Vegas. Come for the fried chicken, stay for the cocktails…of potential gunplay.

Exciting Program Note & Tea Partiers continue down the road of blissful ignorance..

By Lynne Ryan | April 20, 2012 | WTF | No comments

Happy Friday and stupid 4-20 ya’ll! Yes, I know.. the ganja loving peeps, fools that keep on posting about Hitler ( wtf!?) and if you live in Colorado.. a sad remembrance of Columbine, all come together on this day in April. Perhaps I can make this day a bit better by introducing Death By Pop Rocks newest contributor, My friend and esteemed colleague, Chuck Woodford! Chuck is a long time Colorado resident who has an Emmy!, the best memory of anyone I know, a billion gallons of radio experience and musical knowledge up the ass. Today’s post is compliments of C-bird (as I like to call him.) I hope you enjoy his fancy musings!

“DBPR’s Friday Morning Tip To Clip-If you ever find yourself in front of a microphone or a camera, or if you happen to be a public official and you are talking to anyone other than your pets, don’t use the words ‘Tar Baby’. In any context. At best it’s a pop culture reference that dates back nearly a century. At worst, it could easily be misconstrued as a not very nice thing to say about a sizeable chunk of the world’s population.

Today’s Tip To Clip has been brought to you by Rational Thought and Good Judgement.”

It has a good beat and I can dance to it….

By Lynne Ryan | April 18, 2012 | Pop Culture, WTF | No comments

Every once in ten days, I become lazier than normal ( which is basically comatose) and neglect my little blog, which, ummm.. has happened again. Luckily for us all, the world keeps turning, and crazy shit keeps happening, which leads me to put together a Round Up! of recent happenings slash nonsense!

Today’s latest is the passing of Dick Clark. I have a ton of memories of Mr. Clark as I was growing up. Up until his stroke in 2004 he seemed invincible, never changing. I mean, sure, older.. but still. I think we all saw the decline after his illness.. and now he’s gone .. I want to do that little salute to him that he did at the end of each show..

Kanye, the pompous fool ( what did Dick Clark think of him.. probably the same as I) anyway, the fool wrote a song about Kim Kardashian and may or may not have called her his Beyonce. and honestly, I couldn’t care.. he’s an idiot and so is she.. so if they date and get married it will be perfect. I just hope they dont procreate.

Fuckin Ted Nugent.. Jesus, the older he gets the more ridiculous he becomes. I would like to hunt him in a Human safari..

Our Girl Courtney Stodden has surfaced again with a sexy?? tomato video.. plus, what in the self tanner, frosted lipstick hell is going on with her look!?

And last but most certainly not least.. Mad Men.. delicious, delicious, Mad Men. Slight spoiler alert coming up.. well, more like conspiracy theory/hearsay, but word in the blogosphere ( yes, I did) is all a twitter with the idea that either Pete or Roger is gonna commit suicide. I think they’re all wrong and it will be that English fellow. the one who kicked Pete’s ass which was AWESOME, btw)

Okay.. I’m out. For now, Dick Clark, so long..

It’s time to play “Guess Who!”

By Lynne Ryan | April 9, 2012 | Music, WTF | No comments

The march of time sucks some serious ass. Even in this day and age of Botox and fillers and drive thru face lifts.. some folks still look.. unfortunate. Now, don’t get me wrong. I just saw some pics of myself that made me want to gouge my eyes out.. so don’t start labeling me a kettle or pot.. or kitchen utensil. Anyways, this fellow never really was my cup of tea ( yes, we are still talking kettles here), but he has aged poorly… Which really sucks, because Men actually get better looking, most of them. but not this one.. guess who it is..

Easter foolery at it’s finest!

By Lynne Ryan | April 7, 2012 | Pop Culture, WTF | No comments

I knew our Girl Courtney wouldn’t disappoint us in this season of renewal! Our favorite teen bride rose like Pamela Anderson from a tour bus and donned an Easter bikini to pose for yet another holiday photo shoot! I have to say, she doesn’t look like she applied her makeup in a bumpy car ride over on the lap of her elderly husband this time.. so what I’m saying is.. Yes, naturally she’s a hot mess.. but she looks ( a little) different? Mais oui? Please enjoy these photos and like me, remain perplexed by the “working on the car” section… Jesus was a CARPENTER, girl.. not a mechanic!

The Hipster Games~ exactly what you think it is.. only better

By Lynne Ryan | April 6, 2012 | Pop Culture | 1 Comment

Naturally a “Hunger Games” spoof has cropped up and “The Hipster Games” is delightful!

“It’s like Battle Royale, but with White People”, ” One Woman and one Womanish Man” ” His clothes aren’t even Vegan!!” and so on.. You’ll recognize your friends or yourself or people you shun at all cost. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.. I mean it’s Easter right? And Easter is in the Bible.. and that stone casting business is in there too…..Right?